Sunday, February 1, 2009

How To Support Your Pastor's Wife

How To Support Your Pastor's Wife
Last night I was catching up on some of the other blogs that I read when I noticed something funny. This particular person happens to be a senior pastor and he wrote about the fact that only one person in his church had invited him to a Super Bowl Party.
One side of me chuckled under my breath and said, "Welcome to the club buddy." The other side of me (the nicer side) said, "I understand."
We have all been there. I started to understand this after Jeff and I had been in the ministry for about three years. We had a youth function at a church member's house and the women who's house we were at came up to me (during the event) and began to tell me how nervous she was with me in her house. She went on and on about how she had cleaned it the best she could and how she had spent hours at the grocery store buying just the right food so as not to offend me. WWHHAATT?
I still remember laying on her floor that night thinking, "What was that all about?" A few weeks later it began to sink in, when I had another women come up to me and tell me how nervous she was having Jeff and I in her small group because she was afraid she wasn't going to be able to answer any of the questions right.
I am sure that at one time or another this has happened to us all. People in our churches forget that we are just as human as them. They begin to erect the pedestal to place us on, only to be let down when they realize just how human we really are. Then, out of hurt or disappointment they proceed to knock us off the pedestal, leaving us in a pile of confusion and heart-ache.
It is at this time when we can really show support to our pastor's wife. Here is how:
  • When someone wants to talk to you about how your pastor's wife has let them down, STOP THEM! Explain to them how much you respect her. Encourage them with the truth that she is just as human as they are. Direct them to have grace towards her, and to forgive her.
  • When you hear other church members say things like, "I really don't want (pastor's wife) coming to this baby shower because I never know what to say to her.", STOP THEM! Gently remind them that she needs friends just like they do. Give them a few topics that they can bring up in front of her, to get to know her better. And, when you go to the shower (or whatever event it is) hang around your pastor's wife and get her talking about some of the crazy things she did in college, or help her bring up some of the funny stories she has about her kids.

We can help to be the mediator between our church members and our pastor's wife. Maybe, by our efforts, our pastor's wife can see the love that our church members have for her!

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